Romance In Islam

Look at the story of Abdullahi Ibn Abubakar and Atikah bint Zaid, Atikah was so beautiful, one of the most beautiful female companions, they were so in love, that they were mad about each other, if they could swallow each other they would have done that. Abdullahi was crazy about her, to the extent that he started missing Salat and Jihad, until Abubakar Siddiq (RA) commanded Abdullahi to divorce her, Abdullahi became depressed that he started singing love poems about Atikah up and down at home.

This was what made Abubakar to re-consider the issue and eventually Abdullahi and Atikah were back together again, and Abdullahi even made Atikah to promise him that she won't marry any other man after his death. The Prophet (SAW) said, a woman will be with her final husband in Jannah (Tirmidhi).

Abu Darda and Umm Darda were also another lovebirds, to the extent that when Abu Darda died, Umm Darda refused to get married again because she thought no other man can replace Abu Darda. When Muawiyah proposed to her, she declined and said, am already engaged to Abu Darda in paradise. How sweet! 

That's eternal love. Marriage can be made beautiful or terrible, it all depends on the spouses. When Umm Silah, the wife of Ahmad Ibn Hanbal died, he wept and said, I have lived with this woman for the past 30 years and we never quarrelled for once. People asked him, how is that possible? He said, whenever I am getting angry she keeps quiet and whenever she is getting angry I keep quiet, so we never had mutual argument. How romantic!

How many couples today can spend a week without argument? Brothers learn to be romantic and  sweet, some brothers are even shy of expressing their love for their wives, if you don't tell her your feelings, who will??

Ahmad Ibn Hanbal said, women love to be told clearly that they are loved, it strengthens the feelings and affection, if you refuse to express your feelings for her, it will create a barrier of harshness between you and her.

These are just a few instances. Islam is not a boring religion. Jokes, sports, love and romance are all allowed in Islam. In fact, Islam is the epitome of love, kindness, tenderness, mercy and compassion. Islam has a better alternative to the western civilisation. So instead of reading the western lovely stories like that Romeo and Juliet, Paolo and Francesca, Antony and Cleopatra, Tristan and Isolde, Lancelot and Queen Guinevere etc...which often end in tragedy, so read the lovely stories of the companions to see the best form of love and romance which is pure and sanctimonios.

Read the lovely story of Khadijah Bint Khuwaylad - the best love ever, Atika and Abdullah - two love birds, Hanzalah and Jameelah - blissful of honeymoon, Umm and Ikramah - love on the run, Umm Sulaym - Islam is my bride price, Hind Bint Umayyah - jealous but pious, Umar and Ummu Khulthum - couple and social work to mentioned but few. Ummuhatt ul Muhmineen our mothers too were in love...Subhanallah! I was always inspired by the lovely and romantic story of our beloved Prophet Muhammad PBUH and his virgin's love Aysher - Love even on the death bed.

Most couples today are only romantic for the first few years of marriage, after that, its assumed that it’s childish to keep saying (I love you). What's childish about it? Wallahi those 3 words are the basis and foundation of marriage. 

Brothers, be romantic: a couple who eat together stay together. sometimes u should eat from the same plate and feed your wives, sometimes put meat In between your teeth and put it in your wives mouth by way of kissing thereby mutually sharing the meat. At times involve in pillow fights with your wives, throw pillows at her. When she is angry, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is, tell her "you look more beautiful when you are angry", if she is still angry, then move back and throw chocolates at her, tell her such sweet words like baby do you know what...subsequently she would enquir to know then tell her...you are the second most beautiful woman I have ever see in my life. Women are very sensitive by nature so she would ask who was the first one. Then tell her it is U when you are not angry. Spray perfume on her or pour flowers on her, all these are part of being romantic.

At times carry your wife in your arms around the house, at times carry the baby on your back too. At times play simple games together, throw balls at each other, have a mini gymnasium in your house where you train your wife, carry her and let her carry you if she has the strength, but don't allow her to knack you down!

Watch Islamic stations together with her, eat pop-corn together, sleep on the same room and on the same bed, don't have your own separate room, some men now have their own room where they run to, after quarrelling with their wife, who are you leaving her for? Even if a man practices polygyny, he can't have his own room, he has to be rationing rooms from one wife to the other. That's justice!

At times, go on a stroll with your wife and chit- chat with her, go to places of amusement or admiration of nature if the places are free from half naked zombies. Don't only buy gifts for your wife when she is sick in the hospital, buy for her often. The best gift is the one that comes from the bottom of your heart not the store. Shop things for her, there is nothing wrong with you going to the market with your beards and say "I want to buy female underwear, its just a gift of love.

May Allah bless all our spouses. Ameen!